i have arrived in beautiful Berkeley California, home of Terri the funny (and sometimes maddening) mother.

She didn't even pick me up from the airport, because she is very very sick, so Caroline came and got me and we went and feasted on fish tacos with mango salsa.

Mmm..I love the taste of perfection.

Well here is a list of terri's misfortune...

1. MENOPAUSE (ex: hot flashes and constant opening of window to cool down even though I am not going through hot flashes so i am just cold all the time.)

2.IRRITATED NERVE IN BACK (ex: she walks around with one of those rubbery whoopy cushion things filled with hot water and moans and groans. I must constantly boil water in the kettle to refill her hot whoopy cushion thingy)

3.SINUS INFECTION (ex: Terri has used 4 rolls of toilet paper since my arrival, about 5 hours ago, and is constantly running to the bathroom to throw up from her medicine. Also, because of her medicine she has zero memory.)

So what did we do? Watch the Osbourne marathon! But Terri thinks its called the Osburns. She has asked me 6 times if i have ever seen the Sopranos, and has eaten 7 english muffins, because that is the only food she can keep down.

So while she was sleeping, or becoming even more dillusional, i went on a bus to go shopping and bought a wonderful journal and some pretty necklaces for shannon sara and anna. and me of course.

Hold on-Terri is moaning for water. Thats another thing, she only drinks bottled Calistoga water, because she is convinced baby shrimp and sea-life live in the other types of water.

Okay back. I showed her all my pictures of my friends, and someone this crazy pic of me as a little girl got stuck in there, and i am holding out a demented cookie with crap all over my face and Terri started BAWLING saying

"Oh megan! Those were the days we were together every minute." and just cried into her heating pad.

Well, i thought she might electrocute herself, so i told her to immediately stop crying. Ive never seen her cry so it was extremely uncomfortable.

But of course she wouldn't stop. She just waddled over to the (infamous) toaster and started toasting an english muffin.

I am telling you, menopausal women get worked up over the littlest things!

And heres the kicker-

she asked if i was planning on starting my period while i am out here (like i have any say in that matter) and said she hoped i did because then maybe (with a stroke of luck) her period would start and she wouldn't get such awful hot flashes.

Imagine this-a 47 year old woman waddling around with 3 rolls of toilet paper, a battery operated mini fan, a picture of her daughter as a child, shes crying and trying to read an article titled Thank Goddess for Hot Flashes-Arriving Midlife on a Hormonal Roller Coaster

I am telling you, this should be a interesting week.

<3

Oh yes, another thing. If any of you kittens know of any really kick ass design sites that i wouldn't have to host my own images, would you tell me in the GB? Thanks dollfaces, i love you all.

<3

meg@n