Its been a crazy weekend.

I've decided I lead a crazy life.

I've also decided that i am on the verge of an emotional breakdown which became clear when i only went a week without seeing Therapist Larry and i feel it necessary to jump off a really tall object.

All i do is party-my life is in constant motion with spinning, dancing, falling twirling through the weeks hardly stopping to catch my breath and then i fall..hard.

Saturday i went to work at 7AM and didn't come home until 7 Sunday night. I got off work at 6, anna picked me up and then we went to kyles.

I had 3 shots of vodka, 2 shots of whiskey, 5 beers and probably 2 shots of gin, although by that point i was in no shape to remember.

I actually don't remember most of what happened, except the cold pavement on my face and walking around with this drink a freshman made me called "Cum On The Beach" which consisted of probably 90% gin and 10% eggnog, although the freshman told me it was 50/50.

Anyways, i dont remember the events leading up to the climax of the night, i only remember crawling on the street, because i couldn't walk, and having sara open the car door and hit me in the head.

I remember falling to the pavement...and thats it.

Anna said i blacked out for 5-10 minutes.

Then i guess after the party we went back to kyles, but i figured we just went back to anna's.

Thats how fucked up i was-i couldnt remember 2 hours of the night. Jordan said i was just passed out in the bathroom and they left me there with the lights off and when they came down i was passed out with my eyes open but i wouldnt respond to anything and they didnt wanna take me to the hospital so they just put me back in alans car and drove us to annas.

I remember i couldnt lift my head up, it sorta swung from side to side.

..

And when i woke up at 4AM the next day i had a hangover like a raving bitch. It fucking sucked. But..at the same time i am awed by the fact that I Couldn't Remember half the night.

For 2 hours, my mind went blank. I didnt have to think about shit. I didnt feel pain, i didnt feel angry or sad or confused or paranoid that all my friends were turning against me.

And the more i think about it, the more i liked it.

The fact that i didnt feel anything.

So i think im up for the same thing next week except liquor before beer.

Ever heard the saying "Liquor Before Beer, You're In The Clear. Beer Before Liquor, Never Been Sicker."?

Well i learned my lesson, but i have to do it again.

The benefits outweigh the risks 2:1.

Thats it for now pumpkins.

<3