I walked all around the mall w/ my lil stepsister Sarah trying to figure out the perfect presents for everyone in my family.

Its a new family law:::

Everyone Must Buy Every Family Member A Present.

(translation)::The Parents Are Tired Of Spending Money On Children And Getting Nothing In Return.

..

anyways..i figured i would get Jessie 2 picture frames, Sarah a kickass reindeer beanie, Elsie some lipgloss, Tyler a bottle of (fake) penis grower pills..and parents are undecided.

OH.

Terri called me she was absolutley depressed because last night her cable was broken so she missed the Osbournes.

my mother LOVES the Osbournes.

Especially Sharon.

My mother thinks Sharon is the coolest piece of British shit to ever walk this planet.

I swear she was like "Oh Meg! What am i suppose to do? I missed the Osbournes-poor Sharon what happened what happened to Sharon and the asshole cancer?"

Of course Terri doesnt say COLON cancer..oh no. She says ASSHOLE.

good rolemodel huh?

OOOH.

and andrea got a DUI on friday and i told Terri and she said that she didnt care if a drank/smoked/whatever as long as i didnt drive home.

good rolemodel huh?

..

Anyways..michelle wrote me this entry in my guestbook that made me cry.

It was the sweetest most considerate/caring thing anyone has ever said to me and i dont even KNOW the girl.

And i realize that yes, i need to slow down, and yes i need to stop partying so intensely because i do NOT want to work myself into an early coma like i almost did saturday night.

Looking back on that night ( the parts that i barely remember) i know it was one of the stupider things i have done.

I just want someone to care, ya know?

And i feel like nobody does.

So until then..i just dont know if i can change completley..like..

if at first you dont succeed, try again?

thats whats going through my mind.

<3