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rockingal |
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12.20.02 : 5:01 pm forgiven but not forgotten<3 |
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& he sits there, tapping the navy blue pen against his yellow pad of paper. He's waiting for my answer. I don't feel like answering, so i cough and say.." Can you repeat the question?" I don't look at him, & instead decide to wrap and unwrap a Tootsie Roll. "You heard me Megan." he says. I can feel him looking at me. "What exactly do you have against everyone you meet? Why do you go from being the sweet child that everyone loves, to the raving partying girl that everyone is scared to let wander off because they think that you are going to die, overdose, run away?" I glance at the clock, slyly, without looking at the hard-eyed man. I pick at my finger nails, tap my feet. I have 45 minutes left. TickTock. TickTock. He's waiting. I look up, shrug my shoulders. "I don't know." I say. "Why don't you ask my father. He's the one trying to fix me." He sighs. "Nobodys trying to fix you, Megan. They just love you, and they want you to live a long life." "Shutup." I murmur, under my breath. "Nothing is wrong with me." TickTock. TickTock. "Well then..Tell me about your childhood." I look inside my memory. I find images of screaming parents, locking doors, slamming windows, crying, hurt, and me, the little blonde hair girl hiding under her big brass bed, covering her ears and singing a song to herself to keep out the sounds of turmoil. I see the little girl crawl out, slowly at first, as though a caged animal is lurking to pounce on her. As the yelling gets louder, so does the little girl's voice. She wipes a tear from her eye, grabs her Hello Kitty suitcase Grandma In Heaven gave her, and she grabs her stuffed dinosaurs and coloring books. A swear word interrupts her singing, and the small girl jumps, scared-then starts singing again.... "There's nothing to tell. My parents fucked up. All parents fuck up." the little girl's bruises are black&blue.. I shut my eyes, swinting them so hard-trying to smash my eyeballs. still the images of black&blue bruises on the little girl's legs, arms, back remain. ..Bzzzz.... "Time's up Megan." he says. I can tell he is frustrated. another day, another empty piece of paper. "Whatever." I say, and walk through the door. But the colors still linger. Black&Blue Black&Blue Black&Blue.
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