but i felt like i was talking to a wall, blank stares and everything began to spin faster and faster.

I watched them watch me, but i was further away, distant now.

I saw them shake their heads and whisper to eachother..

"Oh God. Megan's done it again."

done what again?

wait.

stop.

i'm confused and scared and cold and i just wanted to connect with every one of you and so i tried to change my mind set, open myself up, and all i found was a big block of ice where my heart should have been.

& i smell of smoke and alcohol

and i wonder if that comes from me

or if somebody else tried to get close

and the only thing lingering from their visit

are the things that caused the problem in the first place.

<3<3<3