i try to be all 'jennifer aniston/katie holmes' sophisticated beauty, but that totally does NOT work when you are trying to impress a certain boy and end up tripping on a closing door and falling into a classroom full of students eager to learn.

damn my feet.

damn feet damn.

but kevin and i had a wonderful conversation, and in all honesty, i havent had a wonderous conversation in quite a long while.

see-kevin and i have study hall together. the same study hall that i wrote my [illegal] last entry in.

and we also have last lunch.

[my tummy is NOT happy with that tidbit.]

anyways kevin said nobody has ever said a mean word about me or said that they disliked me.

and the funny thing is...i trust kevin.

through all our shit of on again/off again, friends, enemies...i still value his opinion the most because even though he comes off as being not-to-bright, he is really verrry smart.

it made me feel good about myself.

it all started when i told him that sometimes i get confused about why i am friends with certain people-how we always do the same thing and our friends are SO picky i wonder why they chose me, a crazy fucked up wonderland girl to hang out with.

he said he feels the same way.

i said i dont have a network of people to fall back on like he has.

i know who i know and thats about it.

its frustrating, ya know?

i mean...maybe..eh...kevin and i have actually broke into the ranks of being friends again?

but then anna came and broke it up [because she has a crush on kevin] and she got pissed because she reminded me that on sunday night i told her that she looked like a retarded boy and an oompa loompa.

now, i dont quite remember, because i was drunk, but thats not the point.

the point is that anna was testing kevin's loyalty to her, and kevin didnt say a single thing.

i dunno...because then there is kelly, who im starting to like ALOT because he is soooooo beautiful and chill and hes the one i tripped in front of and my life is ONE BIG MESS.

somebody please help me.

and bring a mop, broom & strainer.

i can't loose even the tiniest part of me,

because it might be that one piece that impresses someone.

<3<3<3